Sunday, March 3, 2013

If I'm A Nobody Then How Do You Know Me?

If you were a cupcake, 
I'd definitely eat you.
And then I'd feel really guilty,
knowing that I ate the best cupcake in the world.
And, obviously, that I ate my freind, as well.

Don't let someone dim your light, simply beacause it's shining on their eyes.

I love your hair.
"Aww thanks, I grew it myself!"

Most people: Like to drink and smoke.
Me: When it's cold outside I like to breathe heavily and pretend I am an dragon.

I rather have a flower on my head then a diamond around my neck.

Stars can't shine without darkness.

 Don't count the days,
Make the days count.

The reason angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly.

God not only sends special angels into our lives, but sometimes He even sends them back again if we forget to take notes the first time!

The wings of angels are often found on the backs of the least likely people. 

Be an angel to someone else whenever you can, as a way of thanking God for the help your angel has given you.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

You Used To Be Much More... Muchier. You've Lost Your Muchnes.

The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world
are the ones that do.

You're not an alcoholic, 
You're soberphobic.

Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.

 You can't buy love
but you pay heavily for fot.

If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, just try missing a couple of payments.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says, ‘Oh crap, she’s up.’

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.

Silence is golden; duct tape is silver.

If you are one in a million, there are six thousand people just like you.

A good friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move a dead body.

Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Just Remember If We Get Caught, You're Deaf And I Don't Speak English

New year, new adventures, new beginnings, new dreams, new hope, new love, new story, new memories.

How do you organize a space party?

Every brunette needs a blonde best friend.

Today I close the door to the past,
 open the door to the future,
 take a deep breath, 
step on through and 
start a new chapter in my life.

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

Never apologize
 for having high standards. 
People who really want to be in your life
 will rise up to meet them.

Happy new dreams!
Happy new hopes!
Happy new chances!
Happy new you!
Happy new year!

Don't compare your beginning to someones else's middle.

Life is a comedy for those who think,
 and a tragedy to those who feel.

Laughter is the best medicine...
Well unless you are a diabetic, then insulin is probably better.