Women like silent men. They think they're listening.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.
There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette.
Women really do rule the world. They just haven't figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble.
I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.
Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed.
Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness.
Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls.
Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.
The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams.
Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.